WHAT I CAN HELP WITH

Anger Management
Using cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) I can help you come to recognise the earliest signs you are about to become angry and give you tools, tailored to you, so you can be in control of your strong emotions by keeping the feeling to a manageable level.

Through our frank and honest discussion, based on trust, we can together work out the situations, the earlier vulnerable feelings, as well as the initial physical sensations, that will give you seconds, or fractions of a second, to choose from safer options other than acting the anger out in destructive and regrettable ways.

Six sessions may be sufficient for you to feel in control enough of your feelings and, therefore, your actions and behaviour, to feel a new self confidence and new ability to manage yourself in awkward and difficult situations.

Confidence

I can help you to find causes to any loss in confidence. This may come from, for example, negative thinking, hidden negative feelings or something you do not accept about yourself. Together we can piece together what is causing the loss in confidence so self-esteem can start to rise and an inner belief in yourself and your abilities return.

Depression

Its normal for us to feel low or flat from time to time. Moods go up and down. However if the cycle continues downward it may be that depression can appear with a sense of pointlessness.

I can help you to understand and accept the depression you may be experiencing. Together we can work out how best to live with aspects of the depression that cannot change.

Depression is a state of low mood that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being. Depressed people may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, or restless. I can offer space for you to express how you feel, explore why and help you search for any reasons there may be for its existence and work towards any changes or an acceptance of living alongside depression. The support I offer can help you to feel better about yourself, cope with your feelings, see your life become better, and raise self-esteem.

Family Relationship Problems

Overcoming and managing difficulties with:

• parents
• step parents
• parents' partners
• siblings
• in-laws

Such difficulties can come out as isolation, loss of contact, lack of communication, awkwardness, undermining, arguments, money matters, bullying, canceling / re-arranging meetings.

What I can do for you is to help you get in touch with your thoughts and feelings regarding the current matter and help you to understand what is really going on with the difficulty. With the trust and rapport that builds between us we can feel safe with one another and speak very honestly about the problem and how to change things, if they can be changed, or accept aspects that cannot be changed.

Loss

Difficulties around loss can include such experiences as losing a partner, family member and friend. There can be a similar process when we lose other things such as a job, career, reputation, self-esteem, contact with children, youthful looks, good health, contact with friends, possessions, wealth, home. The list goes on. What I can do for you is help you explore the difficult aspects of the process of your loss.

I can help point out aspects that you might not be able to see from my knowledge of our relationship, to assist you along the process of loss. There may be no avoiding difficult feelings but I can be there to allow you to vent and possibly dispel those feelings and increase the chances of you finding a more acceptable place within yourself alongside your loss so your self worth returns and your future has meaning and purpose again.

Partner and Ex-Partner Relationship Problems

This can involve all aspects of difficulties that can arise in an intimate relationship including the difficulties around the relationship with an ex partner. I have worked with both the victims of abuse and the perpetrators of abuse within relationships, including domestic violence. The problems here can be around a need for power, to be in charge, knowing what is best for both of you, sometimes regardless if you are still together, and about not looking stupid, about staying together at all costs or getting back together.

On the other hand the difficulties can be about feeling bullied, bossed about, never being trusted, endless arguments, or too fearful to argue at all, disagreements about money, your family and friends, threats. Living with grumpiness, 'looks', being ignored, sarcasm, being left alone, battles around the children may feature here. Whatever your situation, I can help you to locate the real heart of the matter for you, giving you time to express your feelings and thoughts, raising your self-esteem and helping you look at options for any change.

Working with individuals who want to stop domestic abuse would be cognitive behavioural. Through our conversation we build trust and rapport. This allows for an honest and safe environment where its ok to look at all aspects of domestic control including, sometimes, in very small subtle ways, in such behaviours as intimidation, coercion, money, co-parenting, isolating. We examine how to live an everyday life, without resort to abuse, by discussing and practising up to eleven different skills such as positive self-talk, acknowledging a partner's fear and anger, communicating thoughts and feelings, and assertive behaviour. The work allows you to have better quality relationships not only with partners but children, colleagues, parents and friends. It means a happier more fulfilled life. Consistently people who have this counselling say they wish they had benefited from it at an early age.

I work with individuals rather than couples.